Something about today
makes me want to be
hungover tomorrow.
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I know we will be best friends
forever. We're too lazy
to...
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Welcome to the land where you
can get sunburn and frostbite...
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All moms gave birth to a
child except my mom.
She gave...
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I'm a shopaholic on the road
to recovery...
Just kidding....
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Can I skip working and just
go straight to the part
where...
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Don’t dance like no one is
watching, dance like someone...
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Whenever I get mad,
I just remember,
"Prison Orange" is...
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One day big butts will be
in style and I can say
"I've had...
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Mocking stupid people is the
glue that holds our friendship...
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Which part don't
you understand?
The fuck? Or the it?
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Facebook:
Helping deadbeat parents
everywhere pretend to...
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I'm smiling on the outside
cause I have a rainbow of
pills...
|
They're not duck lips...
It's called Twat-face.
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In order to be a stay at home mom
your husband has to have a...
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I could lay with you forever.
Or until it's time to go eat.
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Sometimes I want to kiss your
neck... with my hands...
In a...
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Absolutely no one can
screw you over quite
as well as...
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