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I have no idea what my job is here, I just drink lots of coffee.

 

I don't have Ex's. I have Y's. Like "Y the hell did I...

 

Let's discuss the company's health benefits during our...

 

I don't always wear my sassy pants. But, when I do, I wear...

 

I'm not cocky I'm just awesome! I didn't ask for this, God...

 

I wish that Karma was like a flower arrangement...you could...

 

I'm not lazy..... I'm overflowing with potential energy.

 

I never assume intelligence, and I'm rarely disappointed.

 

I can tell today is going to be a "does not play well with...

 

Some people say I'm a bitch. I call it DELUXE edition.

 

From the moment we met I had flashes of people chained up in...

 

May you grow so old that people mistake your boobs for nuts.

 
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