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I'm worried if I give up drinking I'll replace it with...

 

No, I haven't met Mr. right but I have met Mr. Douchbag,...

 

I'm so happy I could shit rainbows.

 

They say laughter is the best medicine…. I think...

 

Sometimes I take baths... because it's hard to drink wine...

 

You can't litter negativity everywhere you go and then...

 

A good sister will wipe your tears away... A great sister...

 

I never step on a scale. Those things can't measure sexy.

 

Oh please stop... I don't speak Walmart

 

By the shit you're talking, you haven't figured out...

 

People like you should be forced to carry around potted...

 

I'm a lady. With the vocabulary of a well educated sailor.

 
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