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Are you from Starbucks? because I like you a latte.

 

I hope you like my recipe, they're called shut the fucupcakes.

 

Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in...

 

The speed at which a woman says "I'm fine" is directly...

 

I've been single for a while and I have to say.... It's...

 

We go to together like drunk and disorderly.

 

3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep. The other...

 

Your intelligence is like a rainy day in California... It...

 

Half of of my work day is spent minimizing my browser any...

 

I don't have a short attention span.... I'm just planning...

 

I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice...

 

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or won't...

 
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