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I hope you like my recipe, they're called shut the fucupcakes.

 

3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep. The other...

 

Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in...

 

I've been single for a while and I have to say.... It's...

 

I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice...

 

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or won't...

 

Note to self: It is illegal to stab people for being...

 

I just realized my life turned out better than yours....

 

I'm getting really sick of underwear and responsibilities.

 

Single women aren't really that difficult to figure out....

 

If my thoughts offend you: 1. I'll keep them to myself. 2....

 

I love you more than coffee but not always before coffee.

 
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