Something about today
makes me want to be
hungover tomorrow.
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I know we will be best friends
forever. We're too lazy
to...
|
Welcome to the land where you
can get sunburn and frostbite...
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Can I skip working and just
go straight to the part
where...
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All moms gave birth to a
child except my mom.
She gave...
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I'm a shopaholic on the road
to recovery...
Just kidding....
|
One day big butts will be
in style and I can say
"I've had...
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Mocking stupid people is the
glue that holds our friendship...
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I'm smiling on the outside
cause I have a rainbow of
pills...
|
Facebook:
Helping deadbeat parents
everywhere pretend to...
|
They're not duck lips...
It's called Twat-face.
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I could lay with you forever.
Or until it's time to go eat.
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Sometimes I want to kiss your
neck... with my hands...
In a...
|
Absolutely no one can
screw you over quite
as well as...
|
I'm not an All-State agent,
but I'm pretty sure they
don't...
|
Googling your symptoms
when you don't feel well
is the...
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Not sure if I've told you lately, but you're fan-FUCKIN-tastic!
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Thanks for playing me
like a fiddle because your
best...
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