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You are ridiculous, inappropriate offensive and hilarious....

 

Aawwww... I see you're back to being pleasant again, to...

 

This is my asshole antenna. You're coming in loud and clear.

 

To ALL Guys.. If you want your girl to be an angel, then...

 

Our superpowers are drinking wine and judging people.

 

Something about today makes me want to be hungover tomorrow.

 

You've always been a great mom because of your patience,...

 

Stop bitching about your baby daddy, you picked his dumb ass.

 

I'd rather be in a relationship where no one wears the pants.

 

Welcome to the land where you can get sunburn and frostbite...

 

Sure, Boss, I will add that to the pile of shit I ain't...

 

All moms gave birth to a child except my mom. She gave...

 

Back off, asshole. I have a best friend and I'm not afraid...

 

I love being a bitch! The hours are great and there's no...

 

Don’t dance like no one is watching, dance like someone...

 

Happy Nurses' Day, and thanks for all the gross shit you...

 

I was going to kill you with kindness, but all I had was...

 

Whenever I get mad, I just remember, "Prison Orange" is...

 
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