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I'm a sarcastic bitch because punching people in the face...

 

This is my cup of care. Oh look, it's empty.

 

Without stupid people in the office we would have no one to...

 

The worst part of quitting drinking is the lack of excuses...

 

I'm not upset it's Monday. I'm upset because I have to wear...

 

I like my sarcasm like I like my bacon...laid on thick and...

 

Tell me again how lucky I am to work here, I keep forgetting.

 

This summer I certainly wasn't "bikini ready" but I'm happy...

 

You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands....

 

If each day is a gift, I would like to know where I can...

 

Smiling gives you wrinkles..... A resting bitch face keeps...

 

It's Monday. I'm all refreshed and ready to hate my job and...

 
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