This is my asshole antenna.
You're coming in loud and clear.
|
Something about today
makes me want to be
hungover tomorrow.
|
Welcome to the land where you
can get sunburn and frostbite...
|
All moms gave birth to a
child except my mom.
She gave...
|
Sure, Boss, I will add that to
the pile of shit I ain't...
|
Don’t dance like no one is
watching, dance like someone...
|
I love being a bitch!
The hours are great
and there's no...
|
Whenever I get mad,
I just remember,
"Prison Orange" is...
|
One day big butts will be
in style and I can say
"I've had...
|
Marriage lets you annoy
one special person for the
rest of...
|
Which part don't
you understand?
The fuck? Or the it?
|
On days when I get really
sad and depressed, I just...
|
Facebook:
Helping deadbeat parents
everywhere pretend to...
|
Mocking stupid people is the
glue that holds our friendship...
|
They're not duck lips...
It's called Twat-face.
|
In order to be a stay at home mom
your husband has to have a...
|
If you listen very carefully,
you'll hear the familiar...
|
Sometimes I want to kiss your
neck... with my hands...
In a...
|
|
|
|
