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I hope you like my recipe, they're called shut the fucupcakes.

 

3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep. The other...

 

I've been single for a while and I have to say.... It's...

 

I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice...

 

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or won't...

 

Note to self: It is illegal to stab people for being...

 

I just realized my life turned out better than yours....

 

I'm getting really sick of underwear and responsibilities.

 

If my thoughts offend you: 1. I'll keep them to myself. 2....

 

Single women aren't really that difficult to figure out....

 

I love you more than coffee but not always before coffee.

 

I have the book of people I don't like. You're on the cover.

 
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