You are ridiculous, inappropriate
offensive and hilarious....
|
This is my asshole antenna.
You're coming in loud and clear.
|
Our superpowers are
drinking wine and
judging people.
|
Something about today
makes me want to be
hungover tomorrow.
|
You've always been a
great mom because of
your patience,...
|
I'd rather be in a relationship where no one wears the pants.
|
Welcome to the land where you
can get sunburn and frostbite...
|
All moms gave birth to a
child except my mom.
She gave...
|
Sure, Boss, I will add that to
the pile of shit I ain't...
|
Don’t dance like no one is
watching, dance like someone...
|
I love being a bitch!
The hours are great
and there's no...
|
Whenever I get mad,
I just remember,
"Prison Orange" is...
|
I was going to kill you with
kindness, but all I had was...
|
Marriage lets you annoy
one special person for the
rest of...
|
Which part don't
you understand?
The fuck? Or the it?
|
One day big butts will be
in style and I can say
"I've had...
|
On days when I get really
sad and depressed, I just...
|
Happy Mother's Day to someone
smart enough to avoid motherhood.
|
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