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Dear Facebook, I love my kids. Well, I've done my...

 

Big girl panties?? Hell I put on combat boots and go commando!

 

Dear Person, You know those plans you made? That's cute!...

 

So you say you are a Boss. What exactly are you the Boss...

 

You don't like me? That's a shame. I'll pencil in some time...

 

Of course I'm an angel! The horns are just there to keep...

 

Kids today... I swear they just can't figure shit out on...

 

It seems your brain and your morals are in a competition to...

 

Dear Universe: Today, please fling the bucket of shit in...

 

Oh honey, you're not Booty-licious, you're Booty-do. Your...

 

My therapist told me to finish things I start. So far tonight...

 

Why does everyone get so damned excited over Friday?...

 

My favorite winter activity is going back inside and...

 

When I look into my future I see only the people that lift...

 

Well that sure went over like a fart in church!

 

People have pet peeves and tantrums, I have psychotic...

 

Happy St Patrick's Day! The one day of the year where the...

 

Whenever I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper bag over...

 

I smile because you're my children. I laugh because there is...

 

Alcohol. Helping married couples have sex since their 6 month...

 

The BEST thing to do is assume you know everything....

 

Maybe if we over-paid our teachers and under-paid our Pop...

 

I'm trying to decide If I should recover gracefully from...

 

Sorry, can't hear you. The last caller who dumped in my...

 

Let me stop what I'm doing to help you. Obviously your...

 

You can hide behind the avatar. But you can't hide from...

 

This is your karma. It's just waiting to catch up with you.

 

MISERY loves company.... So when misery calls, let it go...

 
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