I've never thought I could
laugh again, until I saw
your...
My favorite image of you....In the rear-view mirror fading away.
Trusting people is a lot like
trusting a fart. It's easy
to...
When you speak I roll my eyes
so hard I can see my brain.
I am sorry I do not speak douche, but I am fluent in...
I'm as SINGLE as a dollar bill
and NOT Looking for Change.
Everyday I'm surrounded by
assholes, then I go home to the...
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Sometimes I want to kiss your
neck... with my hands...
In a...
Sometimes I just want to open a
new book and start a new...
I never realized how deep you
were until you started posting...
I started to Google your name,
and it auto completed with...
You're right, I won't find anybody
like you... I'll find...
I truly believe that if we'd met in a different place, at a...
I want to defriend you but
your pathetic updates
always...
|
Thanks for playing me
like a fiddle because your
best...
You can't change the player,
but you can choose not to
be...
I just saved a bunch of money
by switching to dropping...
I found a penny today
that reminded me of you.
Totally...
One of my favorite things about divorce is waking up in the...
I know the voices in my head
are not real, but they have come...
You treated me like an option, so I
left you like a choice.
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Everyone's all "I'm finally
getting married!" I'm over...
The only thing worse than
"the one that got away"
is the one...
The only advantage that you'll ever have over me is that you...
I'm not playing hard to get.
I'm playing "I don't
want you."
It's all mind over matter.
I don't mind, and you
don't matter.
I'm not Bipolar I'm Multipolar.
That's when I cry and...
Here's a list of times I actually
thought your jokes
were...
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