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You're such a nasty skank, you made Miley Cyrus look like...

 

Yes, I plan to forgive and forget... Forgive how stupid I...

 

Sorry, but the first orgasm you gave me was when you signed...

 

Fine, break up with me. I'm sure there's plenty of women...

 

We need milk. And on your way, could you also please...

 

If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the...

 

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice...Bitch!.. I'll...

 

Roses are red... Violets are blue.. there are so many ways...

 

You're WRONG! So, just sit there in your WRONGNESS... and...

 

Even though I'm clearly right, I appreciate your uncanny...

 

I plan on going out of my way to make sure you find out...

 

You're crazy and I'm confident that your high level of...

 

Marriage is like a playing deck of cards... when you start...

 

The difference between you and a Train? A train knows how...

 

4 out of 5 voices in my head think you're an idiot. The...

 

I miss slamming the phone down when hanging up on...

 

I'm glad that all of my patience, love and loyalty helped...

 

The only thing preventing me from beating the shit out of...

 

I have grown to despise you so much that I have begun...

 

When a guy says "Suck it!" I say, "Sorry, but small...

 

That's what I get for putting all my eggs in one bastard.

 

There comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for...

 

You're smart, funny and extremely attractive... and...

 

I would like to invite you to no longer be in a...

 

I didn't know I was psychic until recently when I started...

 

I think we should run away together. Except I can't go.

 

Sorry I wasn't the person you wanted me to be, I was busy...

 

I bought me a bullet proof heart from the I Don't Give A...