Get ready Bitch, I'm going to play
your theme song, It's...
Look... I found a map of my life,
and you're not in it.
I just saved a bunch of money
this holiday season by...
Since you know everything, then you know you're an asshole.
I'm leaving you,
because our religious
beliefs are...
That knife you stuck
in my back was useful
when it came time...
Absence makes the
heart grow fonder,
of your absence.
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Relationships are a lot like
Algebra. Have you ever
looked...
My nail polish might be wet, but I
will still slap the shit...
If you are going to be a
Smart Ass, first you have to be...
If you're happy and you know
It thank your ex!
My boyfriend said my best friend
is a bitch and my best...
People say you never
know what you have
until it's gone....
This Internet relationship has been amazing with you, right up...
|
Once upon a time in a land far,
far away, a creature known...
Here's a list of reasons why
sagging your pants is attractive.
Sorry things didn't work out
between us... I was just too...
Anybody who's said break ups are hard obviously hasn't used...
I'm an excellent housekeeper.
Every time I get a
divorce,...
I wont cry for you, my mascara's
too expensive.
I do this awesome magic
trick where I don't
respond to any...
|
I want to kiss you with the grill of my car.
I would love to insult you,
but I'm afraid I won't do
as...
All those lies nearly convinced me
you were telling the truth.
We decided to Split but will
remain Facebook friends for...
I've always wanted someone I could call mine forever . Now...
You say I'll never find
anyone better than you.
I say, I...
Practice safe sex.
Go screw yourself
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