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F**k Hump day! I want to know when, "F**k me so hard I...

 

Why limit happy to an hour.

 

I'd take a Nerf bullet for you.

 

The speed at which a woman says "I'm fine" is directly...

 

I don't call it the walk of shame. I call it the stride of...

 

When you don't laugh at my jokes I just assume that you're...

 

If someone throws a stone at you. Throw a flower at them....

 

A wise man once told me, no matter how HOT she is,...

 

Sometimes I use big words I don't know the meaning of so I...

 

I'm not implying she's a whore. I'm just saying you could...

 

All men are animals. Some just make better pets.

 

Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. A broken...

 

Twinkle Twinkle little snitch, mind your business you...

 

I want someone to look at me the way I look at chocolate cake.

 

Education is important, but big biceps are importanter.

 

You think I'm not online. But I'm always here. Even if I'm...

 

You say I am crazy.. I call it mentally unrestricted!

 

I'm not short. I'm just very compact and ridiculously adorable.

 

I set my standards high. Actually, I do a lot of things...

 

I'm not always a bitch.... Just kidding... Go F**k Yourself.

 
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