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If it wasn't for the gutter... My mind would have no where...

 

Some people are like everlasting gobstoppers. Lots of...

 

You had me at "Hello" but you lost me at "I don't like dogs".

 

Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my...

 

That's right boys. We do have vaginas. And they will...

 

What doesn't kill me, lets me recover.... Then you're fucked.

 

I look forward to payday. It gives me the 20 minutes of...

 

Apparently I do swing both ways. On the exercise bike...

 

Please do not wear flip flops if your feet look like they...

 

If you're unhappy with yourself...then fix it. Don't be...

 

I'll give you a nickle if you tickle my pickle.... I'll...

 

Why did I block you? It's simple! I dislike you. Get over...

 

I express my sexuality because I'm confident. You judge me...

 

I wish I was a Mermaid... - No Pants - No Periods -...

 

Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a bitch.... but then I just...

 

You make me want to rub myself all over..... Especially my...

 

If people grew from all the mistakes they made you'd be 50...

 

I didn't mean to offend you..... That was just a bonus!

 

Keep the pretty boys. I like mine a little hood.

 

Of course I know you hate me, I just don't care

 

Only 2 phrases can change a woman's mood. "I love you" and...

 

You're just jealous that the voices in my head are more...

 

Certain noises drive me insane... like that thing called...

 

Welcome to Facebook, Please choose your category: (...

 

I'm a Mother. I've got no time for the nervous breakdown...

 

There is no life without water, because without water,...

 

Who needs the hassle and frustration of raising kids when...

 

Unless you were diagnosed with a terminal illness this...

 
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