If you really think I'm Bipolar, let me prove you wrong by...
I started this week with
a big box of patience,
the box is...
Bitches be like "People need to
mind their own business,...
My husband wears the pants
in our family. I'm too drunk
to...
I’m not saying you're a whore,
I'm just saying if your...
I don't normally eat chocolate
chip cookies, but when
I...
I'm having an "out of money"
experience!
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You can't fix idiots, but you can unsubscribe from their updates.
I'm trying not to worry so much,
but now I worry so much...
Why would her profile be private?
It's not like her vagina is.
Some people should calm down,
take a deep breath
and then...
I feel I would be more
sympathetic to your cause if
you...
It’s just a matter of time
before they add the
word...
I need a six month vacation.
Twice a year...
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Forgive and Forget? How about
"Fuck off you're dead to me".
I've done some research, and if
I did like people...you...
Wearing leggings as pants
is the equivalent of wearing
your...
I'm a lady, but when I'm mad,
I'm an evil sadistic demon...
I’m not sure…but I think
I just heard my coffee cup...
I'm having my period and therefore
I can legally kill you.
I would call you an asshole,
but less shit comes out
of an...
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Don't hate me because I coupon
better than you.
Once you learn to close your mouth, maybe you can work on...
Once upon a time in a land
far far away, no one gave
a shit...
If you bring drama to my
door you will not be
welcome in my...
The more you talk, the
faster I want to buy some
chlorine...
Note to self: Just because it
pops into my mind
doesn't...
Running away will not help you with
your problems, unless...
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