Unattended children will
be given coffee and taught
how to...
I researched your entire
family tree and it seems
you were...
The trouble with life is there's
no background music.
You know it's time to cut back
a little when you nod one...
What America really needs is child control, not gun control.
Don't fear the enemy
that attacks you, but
the fake friend...
Of course I have insecurities,
I just don't hang out with...
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If I've learned one thing since I've
joined Facebook, it's...
Just because I swear doesn't
mean I don't have manners....
Oh.. I love your new heels.
It's so sexy the way
they...
I'm not calling you a slut I'm
calling you a penny; because...
If people are going to
stare at you....make it
worth their...
Today I had to buy cupcakes
without sprinkles. This diet...
The grass isn't greener
on the other side, It's
only...
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Which part don't
you understand?
The fuck? Or the it?
Lord, please give me patience
because if you give me...
Sweat dries, blood
clots and bones heal.
Suck it up...
You're like a bag of pampers.
Self absorbed and
full of shit!
If you think you're having a bad
day, just picture a T-Rex...
People really should remember
to engage their brain before...
Don't be afraid of a few extra
pounds, fat people are much...
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A lot of people see a
light at the end of the
tunnel. It...
Ladies, if a man says
he will fix it, he will.
There's no...
Those who stir the SHIT
pot should have to
lick the spoon!
We've taken our "Happy Pills!"
Wanna join us?
I know God won't give me anything I
can't handle....I just...
Dammit. Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename...
My Daily Routine:
1. Get out of bed.
2. Be fabulous all...
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