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I like to burn my bridges while I'm still standing on them...

 

Either take me as I am or watch me as I go.

 

I'm not angry that you called me a Bitch, I'm just sad that...

 

Dear Congress, Off is the general direction to which we...

 

Kindly proceed to pack your things and go straight to Hell.

 

I would play the "Give a Fuck" game with you...but I ran...

 

You can't win a fight with a crazy person because they...

 

Oh sweetie, I don't hate you. That would require effort and...

 

I'm going to write a "I'm deleting my Facebook" post so I can...

 

Sorry I didn't e-mail you back, I couldn't think of a...

 

I am so thankful for all the people that aren't in my life.

 

If you're going to break into my house, just know one...

 

Go ahead give me the silent treatment! Quite frankly I...

 

That is the ugliest top I've ever seen, yet it compliments...

 

I've consulted with all of my personalities. None of them...

 

You're forever remembered for your brilliant Facebook posts...

 

Many people would be scared if they saw their character in...

 

You mad, hoe? Get over it.

 

When you are making sure you are on the same page with...

 

I won't argue with people who I can remove from my life by...

 

Dear Diet, It has been a long hard journey but it's time to...

 

If you tell a woman to "relax" prepare for the least...

 

You're hopeless, but not as hopeless as the US economy.

 

I'd love to, but I already have plans with my pajamas and...

 

There is a fine line between love and hate and you're standing...

 

Listen, you're not a model, a movie star and don't have a...

 

They say happiness is a state of mind. Move to another...

 

I could kill you with kindness, but shoving you into traffic...

 
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