You will always be my best
friend... You know too much.
I don't speak whore,
or stupid hoe,
but I do speak...
I'm not ignoring you,
I am simply giving
you time to...
Oh please, Oh please...
How does one gain
admittance to...
If you start your sentence off with, "please don't take this...
Your flexibility amazes me!
How do you get your foot
in...
Those who believe in
telekinesis, raise my hand.
|
It's surprising some people
found their way out the
birth...
Enough about Politics, Presidents,
The future of America,...
We'll be friends 'til we're old and
senile; then, we'll be...
You must be an active member
of the "Piss and Moan
about...
If someone ever says to you,
"Expect the unexpected."...
Won't it be nice when the election
is over and all your...
A true friend will automatically
hate someone just
because...
|
Hi, I'm socially awkward.
Nice to meet you!
All of my friends are stressing over
the election and I'm...
God made us best friends
because no mother could
handle us...
Oh, you're having a bad day?
In 1976, Ronald Wayne
sold his...
You are cordially invited to join
me for an evening of...
Won't it be nice when the election is over and all your...
If you're going to post those
hideous close-up self
pics...
|
Remember that time we dressed
like sluts, drank too
much...
I speak five languages
english, spanish,
sarcasm, real shit...
One in four friends are a douche.
If it's not the other three...
Whenever I'm sad, you're there.
Whenever I'm having problems,...
Facebook sent me a notification.
Unfortunately, my meth lab...
I love hanging out with you.
It reminds me that I'm
not...
The police are looking for a suspect
described as sexy,...
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