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News flash! You're a 'smart ass' minus the 'smart'!

 

My favorite part of rap music is the part where I change...

 

Hold on, let me check to see if my give-a-shit meter is...

 

Your gift was absolutely perfect for someone who's not me.

 

Forget drugs and sex. Parents please talk to your kids about...

 

The sound of your kids sterilize my ovaries.

 

People who take pictures with money, usually never have...

 

We leave hair all over the house so we will always be with you.

 

My goal this weekend is to move just enough each day so that...

 

I just want to be a skittle.... so you can taste the RAINBOW!

 

He who sleeps with an itchy bum hole, wakes up with stinky...

 

If a woman is bad at parking, it's only because she is...

 

Just because I appear to believe your bullshit, it doesn't...

 

All you need is love. But a cupcake now and then doesn't hurt.

 

If you don't stand for something, you are sure to fall...

 

How many more pictures do you need to post of yourself? We...

 

Tell me more about this life you don't really live.

 

Don't even think about putting your hand over my mouth to...

 

I'm not walking away because I'm scared of you, I'm...

 

You say I'm crazy... I call it Mentally Unrestricted.

 

I finally know what skinny feels like y'all. Hungry. It...

 

I may not get a period, but I reserve the right to 7 days of...

 

Cheers!! I'm about to say everything I think when I'm sober!

 

You better back off unless you want your next period to come...

 

It's time to shut up. If I wanted your opinion, all the...

 

If at first you don't Succeed, please save us all the...

 

If you have to keep your phone on lock or up your ass while...

 

What comes before 1? The amount of F**ks I give.