I'm just like everyone else...
I put my straight jacket on...
I love to start my day by getting
on Facebook to see who
is...
Here's a list of your Facebook
friends that want to know...
Some people are like clouds.
Once they fuck off, it’s
a...
Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas is a pill
that will...
Going on a blind date is a
great way to reassure
yourself...
Today I bought some mustard,
eggs, seasoning salt,
bread,...
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I'm Still HOT.... Only now it
comes in Flashes.
I'm silently correcting
your grammar.
Dear people who write checks,
It's 2013. Get with the...
If you think you might regret
it in the morning...
Sleep...
I can't wait to tell my
children how many
times I survived...
Your huge boobs really bring out my eyes.
"Your camel toe and
butt dimples
look SO good in
those...
|
Let me know when you're
available to chat again,
so I can...
T.G.I.F
Thank God I'm Fabulous!
Before you finish your sentence
just remember, I'm
probably...
My tolerance level is extremely low. Proceed with caution to...
Whoever believes the world will
end on December 21, 2012,...
I promise I'm a nice girl,
until you don't deserve
it anymore.
When life hands you lemons,
just stick'em in your bra
and...
|
You don't agree with the
government? You should
rebel by...
Treat me like an angel, and I'll show you what heaven's really...
Please remind me when
I'm supposed to give a shit.
Inside me cries a skinny woman
begging to get out, but I...
They say a picture is
worth a thousand words,
but every time...
I'm sorry, but I simply
don't have time for
your drama...
Social Drinking: Getting drunk while sitting on Facebook.
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