Let's spend Memorial Day
weekend damaging our bodies...
What a lovely winter
we're having this spring.
Please let me bail you out of
the bad situation you caused...
Let's celebrate this Easter by
doing what rabbits do best.
My bathing suit told me to
go to the gym, but my
sweat...
I'm celebrating Groundhog Day
by repeating the same
crappy...
I have a dream, that one day
I will not work on MLK Day.
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I used to drink... but that
was hours ago.
When I do my tax returns this year
I'm going to list the...
You know you can't trust
anyone or believe
anything that's...
Let's celebrate the beginning
of spring by building a...
Friday is the beginning of
my liver's workweek.
If that ground hog sees
his shadow on Feb. 2,
I'm going to...
It was so cold this morning,
I actually saw a Politician...
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Let's hope celebrating Earth Day
will convince the Earth not...
You'd pay no taxes at all if
Pinning were tax-deductible.
I love April Fool's Day because I
can get away with...
Save a deer... hunt a pedophile.
This Presidents Day, let's take a
moment to reflect on our...
It's so cold outside I farted the
cutest little snow flake.
I'm very outdoorsy,
In that I like
getting drunk on
my...
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Let's celebrate Earth Day
by having sex outside.
Don't forget to pay your
taxes this year so the
Government...
I really value your opinion.
LOL.. April fool's!
I was going to do some Spring
cleaning but this snow has...
We created one of the most
beautiful tax deductions I
have...
Don't forget to honor Martin
Luther King by stealing one...
Shopping at Walmart to test
my immune system.
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