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You think girls that are fit and have muscles are ugly?...

 

Me? Crazy? I should get down from this unicorn and slap you.

 

I like running because I really, really, really, really like...

 

May your enjoyment of the Super Bowl not be affected by...

 

They should make an app that tells me how many Oreos I can...

 

I just took the weirdest dump! It looks just like your...

 

Everyone is all drama over Pacers Vs Heat and I'm over...

 

Got up to 40 minutes on the exercise bike! Next week I'm...

 

I love it when I run because my thighs constantly clap and...

 

Of course I'm in shape. My shape is round.

 

I'm not cheating... I'm just changing some rules.

 

Ohhh, my constant posts about working out are annoying?...

 

I do yoga to relieve stress. Just kidding, I drink wine.

 

Unless you fell off the treadmill and smacked your face,...

 

Unlike the Super Bowl, my blackouts are brought to you by...

 

Dear people at the Gym, Just because you're wearing...

 

I'm inviting you to watch the Super Bowl with me at your...

 

My cardio is shopping.

 

Good Game Good Game Good Game I Hate You Good...

 

I used to hit the gym when I was stressed. Now I just hit...

 
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