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Parenting: If it doesn't feel like torture, you're not...

 

Look...I've found a picture of your love life!

 

America was not shut down properly. Would you like to...

 

I'm going to hell in every religion!

 

I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to...

 

I drink coffee because I need it and wine because I...

 

I'm not saying you're an idiot.... I'm just saying your Mom...

 

I know that misery loves company, but please leave me off...

 

I'm afraid I have some bad news for you. You have...

 

Pardon my sarcasm and cynicism, but I've put up with enough...

 

Why oh why couldn't I have been rich instead of good looking?!

 

Dear God - Let me win the lottery and I promise I'll never...

 

Bitch! Don't make me pull your blonde hair out by your...

 

I asked God to protect me from my enemies, and my Friends...

 

Good thing I'm judged on my actions and not my thoughts.

 

Don't ever think you have it that bad. Somewhere in the...

 

I really enjoy all of your religious posts on Facebook!...

 

I don't know why you're complaining about your appearance....

 

Welcome to the land where you can get sunburn and frostbite...

 

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate the fact I don't...

 

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and...

 

They say money can't buy you happiness, but I've got a...

 

Oh honey I see right through fake smiles and fake kindness....

 

You claim you're a bad boy... yet you have no house, no...

 

My greatness doesn't decrease based on your inability to...

 

I made a list of ALL the times I cared if my Facebook post...

 

Apparently God only gives us what he thinks we can handle. He...

 

No sweetie, you weren't a one night stand, you were an...

 
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