Would you mind handing
your kids the phone so
I can tell...
I want you to know that whatever problems you're having, I'm...
On days when I get really
sad and depressed, I just...
You are my current obsession.
I'd give you a penny for your
thoughts, But I hate...
I need a big, hot steaming
cup of you this morning.
A woman is like a tea bag.
You never know how strong
she...
|
Great minds think alike, but
dirty minds work together.
I saw the most beautiful
moving painting at the
art...
Since my attempts to have sex with you failed, let's just be...
Just thought I'd let you
know that you crossed
my mind...
Look down your shirt and
spell the word 'attic'!
Have you ever looked at a
person and thought,
"Yep, you...
Some people just need to
chill the fuck out, In a bath...
|
If at first you don’t succeed,
try doing it the way your...
I don't know the key to
success, but the key to
failure is...
Well aren't you just a
truckload of idiot!
I want to see my shoes on your shoulders!
Kids are like farts....
You don't mind your own
but other...
So you're the bitch that
told the bitch that I'm
a bitch,...
I'm just one drink away
from telling you what I
really...
|
Any idiot can drive a straight
line, but it takes an expert...
I'm not an All-State agent,
but I'm pretty sure they
don't...
There are no good girls gone
wrong, just bad girls found out.
Instead of shoving your so-called “Biblical values” down...
My level of sarcasm is to a point
where I don't even know if...
The rising new trend is
"Anal Bleaching"...
I'd usually be...
My policy CLEARLY states
I reserve the right
to NOT give a...
|
