As your best friend, I feel it's my
duty to make the most...
A successful man is one
who makes more money than
his wife...
I think I'll pass on the marriage
thing. I would rather
be...
Marriages don't fail. Wives fail.
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I absolutely believe gay
marriage should be legal.
Why...
Now that we're married I can
gradually show her all my...
I promise to be a great killing partner during the Zombie...
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The key to a happy marriage is
to keep the fights clean and...
May your wedding be
full of obnoxious
drunk people and
good...
If you weren't such an evil, selfish, conniving slut ... I'd...
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Did you hear scientists found
a new food that decreases a...
I don't always make bad decisions,
but when I do, I usually...
Five years from now I'll be stabbing you with this same knife....
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