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I'm going as a lazy worker this year for Halloween. Just...

 

I decided to stay up all night and finish my book, so I won't...

 

Let's make like horse shit and hit the trail!

 

Sometimes I wish I could officially change "Hump-Day" into...

 

With every idiot comes another idiot and his idiot friends....

 

Every bad thing that happens during my day, is a direct...

 

Listen bitch, before you start messing with me you should...

 

I inspire children to learn. I help them achieve greatness....

 

So the government shut down...Well I better not see any...

 

I like to burn bridges to keep those crazy bastards from...

 

They say calcium is good for your teeth, but I've found that...

 

May the bridges I burn light the way.

 

There is always a little "go fuck yourself" in every...

 

I do 5 sit-ups every morning. It may not sound like much,...

 

We should get a raise for every week we make it through...

 

I can't work in an environment where I'm expected to do my job.

 

Everybody stay calm. I know what the hell I'm doing. I...

 

According to my "give a shit calendar" Tomorrow is free also.

 

I hope you get fired and never show your fuckitty fuck face...

 

KARMA is best served steaming hot ... with me sitting...

 

If you get wasted enough tonight, you won't have to lie when...

 

Sometimes I look at people and wonder how they've made it...

 

Make your own fucking coffee! I hate my job but love the gossip.

 

Her head is so far up the boss's ass, that I can't even...

 

Today's Forecast: Major silent treatment heading your...

 

I want to throw you out of this office window.. Damn auto...

 

I don't have multiple personalities but I do have...

 

Whatever it takes to get the job done. Sometimes it's wine.