Life is too short. Never pass up
the opportunity to make...
I hope you taste as good as you look.
I want a boyfriend,
but that would interfere
with my...
I love every bone In your body,
Including Mine.
I want to be the reason you
look down at your phone
and smile.
My wife was just like a Hurricane.
She was wild and wet,...
You can have your friends
with benefits. I have
friends...
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I'm so happy we're at that point
in our relationship where...
I always wanted to meet
somebody like you...
Not you, but...
I promise to always be faithful and only sniff your butt.
Using a feather is kinky...
Using the whole chicken is...
You're 90% of the reason
I get up in the morning.
The...
If you love somebody....
Let them go.
If they come back,...
Why don't you show me
the "benefits" part, then
I'll let...
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A Queen NEVER leaves her throne
to address a peasant...
I love to watch you
sleep, before I wake
you up and nail you!
You had me at "My giant boobs make my back hurt".
You had me at "Let's get wasted".
I have received hundreds
of replies to my ad for a...
I woke up for a midnight snack, then I realized you weren't in...
You had me at "I'm circumcised".
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I'm running out of reasons
not to stab you.
Roses are red, violets are
silly, so grease up your
flaps,...
Oh, so you're the ex?
Nice to meet you, I'm the
up-grade.
If you are going to regret
this in the morning, let's sleep...
I pray for:
Wisdom, To understand a man.
Love, To forgive...
Good Night... If you dream of me, Remember, I like my hair...
Just because life served
you a shit sandwich doesn't
mean...
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