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I have the book of people I don't like. You're on the cover.

 

Thigh gaps are for flamingos. Eat a cupcake........ I...

 

Call me tomorrow and ask me if I give a shit. I just don't...

 

Being cremated when I die is my last hope for a hot smoking...

 

Karma. You get on the wrong side of that shit. You're...

 

It's amazing how I've been able to train my Boss to expect...

 

I'd take a Nerf bullet for you.

 

I hate when people get all worked up about cursing. Bitches...

 

You're my favorite cardio workout.

 

Did a cartwheel the other day, thinking it was like riding...

 

Some people suck the nice right out of me.

 

I don't hate you, It's just.... actually no, f**k you.