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I saw the most beautiful moving painting at the art gallery...

 

The only math I'm good at is adding insult to injury.

 

Yesterday I cleaned my house, which is dumb because I still...

 

The only exercise I do is running from commitment!

 

I worship the ground....that awaits your corpse.

 

A good bottle of wine and good friends are the perfect blend.

 

When we're together, we're much cooler than everyone else.

 

Maturing is realizing how many things don't require your...

 

I wasn't born to clean I was born to be a QUEEN!!

 

Your constant swearing and lack of real words is a direct...

 

I measure how well I'm doing in life by the number of haters...

 

You are welcome for your Birthday hangover! It's the gift...