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A little FYI... I'm getting drunk with or without you.

 

The look you get when you finally realize, why the f**k am I...

 

BEER....... Makes me feel better, and you look better!

 

You're not fat! You're just big boned..... Like a elephant!

 

I've noticed that you have a hard time laughing at...

 

I have plenty of reasons to be a bitch, and your face is one...

 

If I didn't drink, how would my friends know I love them...

 

I found my inner bitch and ran with her.

 

You're Fat... Don't sugarcoat it cause you'll eat that too.

 

The only math I'm good at is adding insult to injury.

 

The only reason I would run with scissors, is if the bitch...

 

I saw the most beautiful moving painting at the art gallery...