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Now don't act like you didn't know the truth when you first...

 

...she won't know what a fake I am until I've taken her for...

 

Somebody said you were a cock blocking robot made in a secret...

 

Get this resume....he's a "Student of Social Media"...what the...

 

According to what it says right here... You're a Fucking mole!

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Tank eat a whole bowl of dicks!!

 

Probably the most valuable life lesson I've learned from a...

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Remember ladies, no matter how awesome your day is going, some...

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I like having sex with the lights off. This way we both don't...

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We'll be friends 'til we are old and senile. Then, we'll be...

 

Sometimes I missed you. Then I would remember what a...

 

Ass up face down, that's the way I like to get the first...

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Now that I think about it ... I would piss on you if you...

 

I think I might go give mall Santas lap dances tomorrow

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I have some new fishnets I need you to help me rip.

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If I let you cuddle me after you fuck me, you're fucked.

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If you don't want me to spit iced tea all over the table, you...

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Set my email out-of-office message to: "Why don't you try...

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I fucking hate you!!!! (Me to the mirror after 10 glasses of...

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The best part of owning a voodoo doll is the secret smile when...

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