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Heaux Heaux Heaux!!!

 

I'm sorry!! I didn't mean to come on your face....

 

Guys with HUGE lips? Oh, yeah!!

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Yep. Ima kill erry-body.

 

Why don't you ever hear about any of the other reindeer?...

 

Have fun with your nurse friend Friday night.

 

Tell your brother I have "the mail". For your best friend.

 

If you don't have your Christmas lights up by now, seriously,...

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Tell your brother I have "the mail". For your best friend.

 

Sent Santa a letter saying, "I wanted a husband who can cook,...

 

Here's some flowers. Now sit on my face.

 

Holiday shopping gives me a great opportunity to catch up on...

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I wanna fuck you... Up.

 

Sometimes for a split second the lava in my lava lamp looks...

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Yeah... We're fighting...

 

When I yell "Can you go any fucking slower?" to the car...

 

I know we are best friends. But you love me. And I love your...

 

Sticks and stones May break my bones, But a cute...

 

I called my doctor about an erection that lasted 3 hours and...

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I dream of one day having a real man. But when I wake up...