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Congrats!! You are one more step closer to gray hairs, fallen...

 

Your right everyone should be jealous of you...after all you...

 

Dad, what are Championships? I don't know son We're not...

 

Yasssssssss Bitch

 

DIVORCE..... So nice I wish I could divorce him twice!

 

I support single moms!

 

Me without you, is like a camera without flash, car with no...

 

What the FUDGE.. You son of A BISCUIT!! I'm going to beat the...

 

Religion is like a penis- It's fine to have one. It's fine...

 

Being married is just like going to a strip club, but with...

 

Inside of every mother is a raving lunatic and if you don't...

 

The police are looking for someone who is super sexy, great in...

 

Can u believe it PENNY MATRIX SHOWED ME HOW TO GET ALL OF...

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Hey cool story! Wanna hear mine its called once upon a time...

 

Heard one of my friends was arrested for undoing a cop's...

 

Its NOT CHEATING if we are SINGLE My girls want girls that...

 

Tis the season to be BROKE!!!!!

 

Everybody calm the fuck down! I got this shit!

 

Two words: yum yum!

 

Unless life hands you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna...